Descending deeper into nothing


    I (21F) suffer with depression & anxiety, I'm currently on 100mg sertraline daily to help me with it and it has sort of helped with my suicidal thoughts but I also experience derealisation and it's getting worse and worse.

    Nothing I do makes it go away. In March I moved back into my parents place with my family and it seemed to improve my mental health being around them and my pets, but my parents are moving away soon and I won't be able to see them as often – distance and covid of course, and the dogs are going with them (they are their pets). I'm worried that I'm going to get worse when they move away next month and I don't know what to do

    I was seeing a councillor pre-covid but then lockdown happened and it stopped me being able to see them. I can feel myself going deeper and deeper into derealisation and I don't know what to do.

    Nothing feels real at all. I try not to think about it (though I know it's there 24/7) because every time I do, I feel like I am going to crumble into myself. I don't know how to snap out of it – it's been full-on for 3 years now and it hurts, seeing the people I love and not feeling like it's real. I'm so far into my head I don't know a way out.

    I'm so stuck on what to do. I feel myself slipping away and I can't catch myself. I keep thinking I don't know if I want to be here anymore, it hurts so much sometimes looking at the people I love and feeling nothing. I feel guilty all the time and I wish I could change but I don't know how

    How do I get rid of this?? I'm honestly all out of hope, I can see my life flashing past me and there's nothing I can do

    submitted by /u/meltedmirroredsky [link] [comments]

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