For Anybody Willing To Listen

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    I am a 15 year old female, and my boyfriend is a 17 year old male. I’m currently a sophomore and he is a junior, and we met during band camp when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. We briefly dated for about a month back then, but then split up and didn’t talk for about a year. And then, in October of 2020, I decided to reach out to him, and we began talking again, and quickly started dating again. He’s an online student and I am in person, which makes seeing each other very difficult. The only way we get to see each other on the weekdays is when he has to go to school for band, but then he leaves again. Back in December during Christmas break, we were enjoying each other’s company when something happened between us and his parents, and ever since it feels like they’ve been out to get us. They constantly get mad at him for things they shouldn’t be, they took his keys away about 4 weeks ago for ripping up a parking ticket he got from the school even though when he got one the first time his mother didn’t care, and even now, 4 weeks later, they still have his keys and blame it on grades, even though he has a weighted GPA of a 3.86. Whenever we ask to go anywhere or do anything, it takes an enormous amount of persuading, if we sit in a parking lot for even a minute too long they text and ask what we’re doing and freak out on him when he gets home. Once, they even resorted to stalking us on Life360. They use it to stalk him all the time, but on this particular day, we had gone to Target to buy some new bed sheets for my bed as my dog had ripped mine up and destroyed them. When we got back into the car, he didn’t have any texts, and we were happy. But, when he got home, his dad essentially interrogated him, and said according to Life360, we’d spent a lot of time in the pharmacy section of Target, and accused us of buying condoms, and even suggested I didn’t actually buy bed sheets, and he even showed his dad text evidence of my mom asking me to grab the bed sheets. Adding onto that, back in late January, he broke up with me out of the blue, on a text, during the school day. It was honestly the most painful thing I’ve had to go through emotionally. We worked it out though, but in my eyes, I haven’t been the same. Ever since the breakup, I get scared to express my feelings when it comes to his parents, because I’m afraid I’ll accidentally be mean and he’ll leave me again. Watching my parents all my life, they argue almost everyday, and their strategies to fight are just to be as ruthless as possible. I believe that’s where I learned that from, and I’m desperately trying to fix it, and he acknowledges and thanks me for that. Here’s where the mental health part comes in: I have a history of anxiety, I have social anxiety, and I have an extreme fear of vomiting. Back in 8th grade I’d attempted therapy but didn’t find it very helpful, and for a while I’d actually managed to get my anxieties under control myself, and I felt really empowered and happy with myself. But, ever since the pandemic hit, and especially after my falling out with my boyfriends parents, things haven’t been the same. My fear of puking has hit me hard, and I have a panic attack on the bus ride to school every morning because I get nauseous, and I know it’s just my head, but it’s so difficult to actually process that. In addition, I find myself crying a lot over simple things, crying over the littlest things that set me off, sleeping until 2 or 3 in the afternoon on weekends, getting home from school and immediately going to my room to be alone, crying at night when I’m finally alone. It’s gotten so bad I’ve gone to school crying and had to sit in the social workers office just trying to calm down. I’m afraid I have depression or some other type of stuff going on, and it’s deeply affecting my relationship with my boyfriend, and to top it off, both his parents and mine don’t believe children my age can have any mental illness disorders, so asking my parents for therapy is really hard. My mom herself has generalized anxiety disorder, and when I ask for therapy she says she’ll get to it and just forgets, and I get scared to ask again out of fear of getting yelled at. So Reddit, what I’m asking for here is just advice, advice on what steps I should take next, advice on what to do about my boyfriends parents, about mine, and about my mental health and my relationship with my boyfriend. Anything is appreciated. Thank you for listening. I know it was a really really long rant.

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