My dog has be diagnosed with heart disease. The vet said things was not looking good and he probably won't pass this year. My dog has been with me since I'm 10 and he is more like a sibling to me. He helped me to cope with my depression when I was at my lowest point of my life. My father was abusive so when he tried to hit my mom my dog would always jump in front of her to protect her.(even though he is a tiny poodle). I currently study in UK and my home is in Hong Kong, due to covid I can't travel back to Hong Kong. My mom told me last night about my dog's health condition. I feel so guilty. I feel like I betrayed him. I hate that I can't do anything. I wish I can be the one to die and not him. I know he's just a dog but I can't help myself. I miss him so much. I just want to be with him when the moment comes, to hold his little paws and hug him for one last time, but I know there is a high possibility that I won't be able to. I wish I can die for him and he can be well again. I miss him so much.
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